Freedom is Freeing Conditioning technically known as brain damage.

o.k.
My thinking could be more than ruminating if i bring my feelings and sensing and thinking together as one, I know deeply. Have you ever known anyone with more joie de vivre than most and wondered how they are so liberated? Well you are really the only one here, dancing with myself.
So at some point I shattered and realised all self restriction of my inner god(super ego maybe) was stuffed in there by a bunch of suffering fools, who are also me, when i was two-11 years old.
Everything except perhaps not stealing others property and not initiating violence, taking the shared load of all humanity before being self serving, and courtesy like not playing music loud enough to wake my neighbors are the only things really necessary for our civilisation of me to operate. All the rest, tens of thousands of inner and outer laws, are purely arbitrary. A bunch of b.s.(belief system).
If god only needed 10 laws why do I need 100000? All of law and culture is empty made up work with no basis in reality. A bunch of huey that would never stand up without the monopoly on force and violence behind it. I can be told word after word about why and how inner and civilian laws operate, but I have never been shown an actual real existing reason with any clarity, and so these words and works are fantasy to me now. It is hard for me to impartially observe the limits of our collective stupidity, I must be collectively stupid. It seems like an endless dollar fantasy that has me and most humans by the short hairs. It seems I and my society has set up as a system of control where the inner or outer authorities have conditioned Me to police myself through the inculcation of the super ego structures. I censor everything within myselves mostly without my own awareness. Sometimes I fear many internal and external I's of identity would rather go down with this slave ship than disembark at paradise because the cost of attention is so high and it hurts to brainchange and we are deeply sleeping to avoid the void within. a feeling I feel as a reactive negative mechanical chronic reaction to my reactions at noticing my burning desire for the beloved. I was afraid to feel love and humiliated that i had fear and angry because of that, all automatically without my real presence being involved, and it is looking like this fear of my own truest deepest desires has crippled me in many ways from being myself and reaching full potentials. When I'm not authentically myself I'm a slave to mechanical forces. Waking up from this hypnosis involves taking back my attention and power from where they have been deployed. You do not owe a thief or a murderer internal or external the truth, protect yourself. You are breaking some inner or outer governments law right now and it was simply made up from whole cloth with no basis in reality and they can come and kidnap(imprison) you into a very restrictive space whenever they want.
So now being more free of my own arbitrary conditioning and moving into stable awakening is more desirable than taking drugs or drinking or drifting by sleepliving nose to the grindstoned to avoid fear/pain awareness. I like the state of my brain and etc.(including fear/pain) so much now that an unexamined reliance on alcohol and drugs and meaningless labour for those I disrespectfully/falsely label murderous lying theiving bosses have fallen away. I love all myself and god the one now.
I know I have been the infant terrible within's terror tool. All that restriction taught by so many authorities has been internalised, so I'm going to steal the power from these parts of myself. The parts that feels guilt and shame and anxious and say's should too much.
Don't, don't be frightened about me sacrificing my suffering, be frightened. The body loves a good thrill once in a while. Become who you are, feel what you feel. What do you smell right now? Adore your listening. My fear becomes fearless when i am with it fully. Fearlessly throw off the contamination of fundamental fear. Desire fearlessly.
What is your most awakened Desire?
What is impeccability?